


I Didn't Sign Up For This

by broadwoah



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bobby Maler he's the worst, M/M, Multi, ernst is a real life disney princess, hanschen just needs to be loved, how do you even spell maylor/maler/mailer, robert has a bike
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-07 07:33:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5448410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broadwoah/pseuds/broadwoah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanschen wanted to get his seat back, but instead he got a real life Disney princess, two kittens, and an angry Bobby Maler</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thea Needs to Get Off of Tumblr

**Author's Note:**

> In which Hanschen cries and loses his seat to a real life Disney princess

Hanschen sat with his head in Melitta's lap, Thea throwing books at the wall, pacing. Just another day in the Rilow household. Except Hanschen was crying instead of Thea or Melitta.

"I'm going to kill him!" Thea roared, kicking Hanschen's chair to the ground. She had been rampaging for the past half hour, threatening bodily harm and screaming.

"Thea..." Melitta sighed from her position on the bed, stroking Hanschen's hair and whispering soothing words in an effort to calm him down. She had never seen him this broken since the day their dad tried to take Hanschen with him during The Split. 

Hanschen was a wreck. His eyes were raw and burning, his cheeks splotched. His hair was sticking up at all ends and he was wearing the same pajamas he had been for the past four days. He hadn't shaved since then so he had a painful patch of stubble on his chin. He was pathetic to look at.

"How could he do this to you?" Thea demanded for the fifth time in a row, pulling at her hair. She sighed and collapsed on the bed next to her siblings. She took one look at Hanschen then sighed, pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry, Hansi."

He sniffed and nodded, curling up into a ball. She pulled him closer, Melitta joining in. They lay there like that for a while, the girl giving all their strength to their brother who just needed something. Anything. He needed a distraction.

"That's it. I'm not going to let him win," he decided, sitting up. "I'm going out. Don't wait up."

Melitta and Thea watched him go, an uneasy feeling settling in.

 

Five Months Later

 

"You look like sex," Georg commented, scrunching up his nose at Hanschen who had walked up to them in the halls.

"Thank you." Hanschen smirked and winked at a passing boy with fluffy brunette hair in a sweater. The boy blushed and ducked his head, scurrying off.

"Do you even know his name?" Otto asked, watching the boy go.

Hanschen scoffed. "Somehow, yes. Kyle Bishop, transferred here last month. He's hot for Jimmy Collins."

"How do you know?" Georg asked, leaning forward. Hanschen quirked his lips.

"How do you think?" Hanschen smirked as Georg and Otto each made a face, realizing what he meant. He looked around, "Where's Gabor?" Melchior was probably one of the few people Hanschen could actually tolerate, surprisingly, third to only Melitta and Thea, though not always in that order.

The two shrugged, so they walked to class without him. Let him be late, it'll be funny. 

When they entered the classroom the bell rang, everyone making a mad dash to a seat. Georg and Otto jumped into the seats farthest in the back, across the way from him. Hanschen ignored him and calmly made his way to his seat in the middle. He stopped cold in his tracks.

"What are you doing?" Hanschen asked, before he could stop himself. Melchior was in the same seat he always sat, to the right of Hanschen. There was Moritz Stiefel to his left, Ilse in front, Wendla in the back. But then there was some doe eyed creature with floppy hair in his seat.

The creature—as pretty as he was—didn't look up from where he was doodling in his notebook. Hanschen could hear everyone whispering and tried to retain his composure, looking at Melchior for help. Melchior leaned over and lightly put a hand on the boy's shoulder. The boy turned and Melchior began signing, pointing at Hanschen.

The boy turned and gave Hanschen a bright smile before turning back to Melchior who continued signing. Hanschen guessed it was to explain that he was in his seat, but he also guessed that Melchior stuck him in that seat on purpose. Little shit.

The boy turned back around to give Hanschen an apologetic smile, standing up quickly to gather his things, going to move to the seat on Melchior's right. But then Hanschen saw the tall person who sat in front of that desk, taller than the boy who was in his seat. Then he saw the bar blocking Melchior from turning all the way to face his right. He was going to regret this later.

He put a hand on the boy's notebook and pushed it down. He grabbed the boy's backpack and opened it, pulling out the pencil case he had shoved in there, bringing out the pencil and pen, putting it on the desk. He put the case back in, zipped up the backpack, then marched to Melchior's right, head held high. He sat down and pulled out his things, ready to take notes.

It was dead quiet in the room. 

"Well, what do you know, he has a heart!"

Everyone whipped around to stare at none other than Bobby Maler. He was lounging in his seat, leering at Hanschen who wasn't sure whether to knock his teeth in or run away and never come back. What he did, however, was slowly lift his middle finger before turning back in his seat.

He liked to think he got the message.

 

"What happened?" Georg asked when Hanschen sat at their lunch table ten minutes late. He waved his detention slip like a white flag, rolling his eyes. Melitta said that if he kept doing that they'd roll to the back of his head and he'd never get them back. He never listened; at least he'd never have to see Otto's face again.

Melchior dropped his tray next to Hanschen's and patted him on the back, congratulating him. "Good job, you finally stuck it to Maler. I'm proud of you."

Hanschen scoffed and shrugged it off, "As if I needed to feel worse. I felt like you and let me tell you, it was wildly unsatisfying."

Georg snorted as Melchior pouted and tried to hug Hanschen. It was very satisfying to punch Melchior in the face that day, as it is all the other days when Hanschen got to punch Melchior in the face.

"Who was he anyways? And why was he in my seat?" Hanschen demanded, crossing his arms. Melchior raised an eyebrow, a hand on his jaw, and turned to Georg and Otto who gave him the same look. Hanschen scowled and raised a better eyebrow; why were they so confused?

"You don't know who that is?" Georg ventured, leaning forward. Hanschen shook his head. The three boys all looked at each other.

"That was Ernst Robel," Otto said, in almost a reverent whisper.

Hanschen held up a hand. "I just want the regular version, not the Mean Girls version." They all groaned and pouted. Hanschen ignored all the whining and the "you're no fun"s by drumming on the table until they gave in.

"He's Moritz's best friend!" Otto exclaimed. The table jerked and he yelped, probably because Melchior kicked him in the shin. "Second to Melchior!"

"He's an artist, his paintings hang in the hall towards the art room," Georg pitched in, "And he's Deaf, as you now know." Then he shoveled a large spoon of mashed potatoes in his mouth, chewing loudly.

Hanschen made a face and turned to Melchior. "Is that it? That's all you know."

Melchior shrugged, "He just transferred here, I'm just his interpreter, so be prepared to see him in all of my classes, but other than that, I don't know much. He's sitting with Moritz over there. If you want to know more about him, talk to Robert. They're best friends, have been since they were seven, according to Moritz."

Hanschen blinked. "I love how you can never go more than one sentence without mentioning Moritz." He leaned all the way back, dodging Melchior's attempt to grab him. Perks of ballet.

He finished his salad while listening to Melchior rant about one of his teachers, glancing behind him every few minutes. He scanned the area and finally found Moritz's table closest to the window. 

Hanschen would never admit that he felt a little bad about taking up German instead of ASL because he couldn't communicate with Moritz. Moritz wouldn't want to communicate with him anyways.

Sitting next to Moritz, was Alex who was Moritz's true best friend no matter what Melchior said. Alex was just like Moritz despite face shape, height, part of his personality, and that he was hearing. But the two were thick as thieves, doing everything together and then some.

Ernst was sitting across from Moritz, laughing and signing and generally being a Disney princess personified. Hanschen tried not to let his lips turn up as he watched Ernst laugh. Tried to, anyways.

Sitting next to Ernst was a boy with orange hair who was laughing his ass off. He was shaking with laughter, his head tilted back and his hands flailing. He watched as the boy hit the table, then slowly laughed his way onto the floor. 

Hanschen scrunched up his nose in disgust and turned away. Why he was disgusted, he didn't know, but he wasn't about to dwell on it, nor was he about to go up to that boy and ask him anything. He finished his salad quickly, throwing away his plate just as the bell rang. He slung on his backpack and turned just in time to see Ernst take Robert's hand and the two walking to the door.

Georg, Otto, and Melchior went down another hallway, leaving Hanschen blissfully alone. He made it to his class in record time, giving him the chance to think of all the people he could ask about Ernst instead of Robert. There were bound to be some people.

 

No one knew anything. Well that was a lie, there were a few people and they knew a lot, but they wouldn't tell him anything. Well, okay, they told him some things, but not enough.

He had gone up to Ilse and Wendla in class and they knew a little bit. Mostly about Ernst as an artist, apparently he was a really big deal. He had been part of the art program which was why most of his paintings hung in the halls without him having to go to the school. This was a weird school.

Martha and Anna said that he was really sweet and they used to play together all the time when they were younger. He made great flower crowns, then proceeded to tell Hanschen the story of when Ernst actually made him a flower crown because they had met when they were younger. Hanschen vaguely remembered coming home one day from the park with the crown on his head, then his father ripping it off and throwing it in the fireplace.

Thea told him to "stay the fuck away from the precious cinnamon roll, he doesn't need your problematic ways". She needed to get off of Tumblr. Melitta was a lot nicer about it, telling Hanschen to be more gentle with Ernst, he's not like Georg, you can't just insult your way into his heart.

So there goes Plan A.

"Why did you do it anyways?" Ilse asked, leaning against a locker. He raised an eyebrow and she scoffed. "You know what I'm talking about. Why did you give up your seat? You're usually heartless and cruel."

He raised the eyebrow even higher. "I like your girlfriend more." Then he turned on his heel and walked away. But Ilse was way too persistent for her own good and followed him.

"I'm serious, what is it that's got you so flip-flopped? Do you like him? You don't like people, Hansi, you just f—"

Hanschen whirled around. "Why should it matter, Ilse?"

She crossed her arms. "Because I care about you, Hanschen, I don't want to see you get hurt. That's all."

He scoffed. "You should be worried about him." He walked away without another word, clenching his fists.

As the door closed behind him, he heard Ilse call out, "You're not as cold as you think you are, Hanschen. You feel too." He ignored her and kept walking.


	2. The Symbiotic Relationship of Bees and Hanschen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Hanschen runs into two kittens and reminisces on the fact that he used to be an awkward caterpillar before blossoming into a fabulous butterfly

Hanschen really hated this fucking park. It was always so crowded and noisy and smelled of dog urine. But Melitta and Thea wanted to go, so he had no choice but to tag along; according to his mother, at least.

It had been three days since Ilse called out to him and to say it struck a nerve was an understatement. He had been friends with Ilse, Wendla, and Melchior before The Change. Before the sleeping around and the cold jokes. Before Bobby. Back when he could partially stand Thea and the three Rilow siblings would binge watch Friends. 

He remembered how his friends used to make fun of him because he was an early bloomer. While they still had the bliss of not shaving, he had to go through the voice change and the pimples and the growth spurts. He had a crush on Melchior. That was a very interesting time. But not all that terrible.

He was shocked out of his thoughts by Thea screaming his name. He turned and found her sitting with Melitta and a few other people under a tree. They waved at him and made shooing motions with their hands; he was free! He looked around and looked disgustedly at all the people.

He walked out of the park, heading towards a quieter park a few blocks away. Few people liked going there because of the bees, but Hanschen and the bees had a sort of agreement; they left his beautiful golden hair alone and he allowed them to live. Symbiotic relationship.

As the park came into view, he saw someone riding their bike along the path. He sighed, exasperated. He had to share his spot? He thought of going back, but then stopped himself. He was going to go to the park, completely ignore that person, and try to enjoy the semi-isolation.

He watched the person ride, marveling at how graceful they appeared as they rode, as if they were on water. It reminded Hanschen almost of his dancing, except he was too proud to actually admit it. But it was close, if he was being honest.

He was a block away when he saw them stop underneath a tree. They looked up, climbing off and kicking out the kickstand. Hanschen watched as they climbed the tree and disappeared from sight. Well, then. Looks like he'll be alone. What a shame. Really.

He walked to his favorite tree and leaned against the trunk. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, the cold wind, anything to distract himself. Then he heard it.

It was quiet at first, just a small little blip in the white noise. Then it grew louder and there was less and less of a steady rhythm, giving Hanschen no choice but to pay attention and be bothered. Then there was a loud squeal and he snapped. 

He opened his eyes and turned to glare at whoever was cooing and squealing. He couldn't stand it. Then he stopped; it was Robert. He was sitting by the bike—his bike, Hanschen realized—playing with something in his arms, grinning. Hanschen, needing to get a closer look, stood up to go confront the boy.

He plastered on a smirk and stood in front of Robert, blocking the sun. Robert looked up and his smile fell. He gasped and moved back a little, pulling whatever was in his arms closer to his chest. Hanschen didn't know whether to be flattered or offended at Robert's fear of him.

He bent down to look him in the eye and stuck out his hand. "Hanschen Rilow."

Robert took it, tentatively, "I know. I mean—. Um, Robert Stewart. That came out wrong."

Hanschen smirked, deciding not to make a joke out of that. "Well, Robert, what do you have there?" He nodded towards Robert's arms where he was still holding onto something for dear life. 

His face lit up and he gasped. "Oh yeah!" He relaxed his arms and displayed...a kitten. Hanschen felt himself grin, despite himself. He gasped and held out his hands. Robert pulled away at first, then quickly deposited the ball of fluff into his hands.

The kitten was tiny and white with black "boots" and a black spot on one eye. It looked up at Hanschen and started licking his face, making him laugh. He brought the kitten up to his face and buried it in its fur before bringing it back down to his lap to pet it.

He understood why Robert was making so much noise, this cat was too precious for words.

"I just found him in the tree," Robert explained, pointing at the tree above them. Hanschen nodded, stroking the cat's fur. Robert shifted awkwardly, biting his lip. It was clear to Hanschen that he wanted to say something.

"Cat got your tongue?" he quipped. Robert ducked his head and laughed slightly, clearing his throat. 

"No, it's just, um. Ernst...he said it was nice of you to let him keep the seat. He said it was...really sweet of you. He wouldn't shut up about you." He laughed dryly, turning away. Hanschen sat up straighter; looked like someone had a crush on the Disney princess.

He was going to say something rude. Something that was probably going to get the kitten sitting in front of him to hiss and take the actual kitten away from him. But then the same thing that happened with Ernst happened again. 

Hanschen nudged him with his shoe, trying to be as nice as possible. "Well, I am great, so who can blame him." Robert scoffed and Hanschen perked up; he didn't think he had it in him. Robert finally looked at him with nothing but pure defeat. 

That was why Hanschen felt so bad when he asked, "Can you teach me to sign? So I can talk to Ernst. And Moritz." He watched Robert's face fall as he nodded, twiddling his fingers. It was really heartbreaking, Hanschen felt like he had just kicked a puppy.

He tried not to let it show, instead he said, "Great. How about tomorrow?" Robert looked up and nodding, trying to smile, and Hanschen nodded, standing up. He handed the cat over, giving it one last pat on the head. Then, because sometimes he slips up, he patted Robert on the head. He had really soft hair. 

Hanschen recoiled once he realized what he did and walked away as fast and as smoothly as he could. 

When he got home, Thea and Melitta still at the park with their friends, he called Melchior. "Don't ask questions and make as many calls as you have to because you need to tell me what Robert's favorite candy is."

Melchior sighed on the other line, the sound of a mouse being clicked in the background. "Why?"

"Because I think I have a date."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think I'm getting better at writing Hanschen, but I'm not. Hope this was satisfactory, I'm actually forming a cohesive plot


	3. Too Much Angst, Not Enough Ernst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hanschen screws up and needs to get his shit together while Moritz Steifel watches

Moritz sat on Melchior's bed, watching as the slightly older boy stared at the ceiling. He wondered what he was thinking about. It was probably something philosophical and deep, something that he would gladly tell him if he just asked. Alex once told him Melchior randomly walked up to him after school and ranted about bees as they walked towards Alex's house. When they reached the house, Melchior introduced himself, then turned on his heel and walked away. He was a radical, no doubt, so Moritz could only fathom what he was thinking.

'Hanschen is an idiot,' Melchior thought, shaking his head. Hanschen had called him the night before asking what Robert's favorite candy was. He had to go through so many contacts to get the answer and appease the over dramatic drama queen he reluctantly called a best friend.

"You're my best friend, you know that, Moritz," Melchior signed, getting Moritz's attention. He watched as Moritz's eyes widened in surprise and the quick lift of his lips. Then he saw the tenseness in his shoulders. "There's no need to reply, just thought you should know." Moritz relaxed and smiled; much better.

"Why were you asking for Robert's favorite candy?" Moritz asked, watching as Melchior pulled out his phone to show exactly how many people he had to call, Skype, text, and stalk on social media.

"Hanschen has a "date" with him." Moritz's eyes widened in surprise. Melchior pursed his lips and nodded; he didn't believe it either. His phone chimed, indicating a text.

Hansi: Im totally fucked. Wendla's house.

Melchior's eyes widened and he grabbed his jacket signing quickly. "I have to go see Hanschen, this is really important, come with?" Moritz nodded and jumped off the bed, trailing after Melchior who was writing an excuse to his mother, pinning the note to the fridge as they went.

"What's going on?" Moritz demanded as they ran, trying to divert Melchior's attention from his phone.

"Something happened to Hanschen, I don't know what, it could be important." He stuffed his phone in his pocket and ran faster, glancing back to make sure Moritz was still following. Moritz wished he were taller like Alex and tried to go faster. As they went, the same question ran through their minds. 'What the fuck did Hanschen do now?'

 

Earlier

 

Hanschen fiddled with the bag of gummy worms in his hand as he walked to the park. He debated on going to Melchior's house and asking if the gesture was too much, then remembered that it was Melchior he wanted to talk to. Melchior who put himself in harm's way to make grand statements. Melchior who nearly got expelled from school Freshman year because he wanted to state his opinion. Freshman year. First semester.

He walked towards the tree and sighed when he saw Robert was already there. The boy was leaning against the trunk, wearing a large black hat and clunky headphones around his neck. He was playing with the kitten again, a little toy mouse in his hand. When he saw Hanschen, his smile faltered slightly, but stayed. 

Hanschen took that as a challenge; he was going to make that boy happy to see him. 

Hanschen sat down across from Robert, involuntarily smiling at the kitten. "You kept him," he said. He lifted his hand and Robert reached out to let Hanschen pet the kitten.

"Yeah...no," he sang, "I, uh, just snuck him in my room. My mom doesn't know." Hanschen glanced up from the kitten to scoff. Robert looked at his hands, biting his lip. Hanschen mentally cursed himself; he had hurt his feelings.

"Um, I brought you these," he said, awkwardly shaking the bag of gummy worms. He sounded so awkward, damn it, he already grew out of this phase. Robert brightened and took the bag, throwing three gummy worms into his mouth.

"Thank you," he said, his mouth full. Hanschen resisted the urge to make a snide remark on Robert's manners. It wouldn't have helped anyone. 

Robert dusted his hands. "Okay, let's get started." He sat up straight and forced Hanschen to do the same, ignoring his complaints. "Are you sure you want me to teach you, maybe just ask Ernst, it'd be easier since you want to talk to him and he's Deaf."

Hanschen sighed impatiently and leaned back on his elbows, stretching out his legs. "I'm asking you, Robert, if I wanted to ask Ernst I would have. How long have you been signing?"

Robert shrugged. "Since I was seven, same as Ernst, he lost his hearing around then."

Hanschen made a gesture with his hand. "See?"

Robert sighed and stretched. Hanschen pushed himself up into a sitting position, crossing his legs. They started off with the alphabet, taking all the time in the world. Robert often had to adjust Hanschen's hand shape, making him repeat the letter over and over until he got it right. 

After what seemed like hours, Robert finally granted him permission to move on. They covered the very basics, greetings and some feelings, but nothing more than that. As Hanschen practiced, Robert leaned back on his elbows, saying the different phrases words, occasionally signing to Hanschen so he could get the feel of it.

"Nice to meet you," Robert said, popping a few gummy words into his mouth. Hanschen signed lazily, trying to roll his shoulders. He dropped his hands and started to stretch, going through his usual routine. When he was finished, he turned to see Robert staring at him, mouth half open, gummy worms forgotten in his hand.

Hanschen smirked. "What?"

Robert jerked his leg and shook his head. "Uh, sorry, nothing. Um, I think we're good for today, what do you think?"

Hanschen almost laughed. This was too perfect. He scooted forward, making Robert lean back. "I'm not sure. I think there's still something. What do you think?"

Robert swallowed thickly. "W-well, I don't know, is there anything you want to do?"

Hanschen leaned forward even more, only a few inches from Robert's face. "I can think of a few things." He leaned forward, closing his eyes, but a loud 'meow!' cut him off. He opened his eyes to see Robert staring at him, just as shocked, before looking down at his lap. Hanschen did the same and saw the kitten looking up at them.

Hanschen sighed, running a hand through his hair. He looked at Robert who was staring at him, lips parted, eyes wide. Then reality started to sink in. Oh. Oh. He scrambled to his feet, trying to find the right words. What was happening to him? He was just able to manage a weak 'bye' before sprinting off in the opposite direction.

 

Now

 

Moritz stood behind Melchior, watching as he knocked on the door quickly, probably yelling. As much as Melchior tried to convince everyone that he couldn't stand Hanschen, the two always bickering, he cared a lot about his friend. Moritz could easily see that.

The door opened to reveal Ilse. She let them pass, smiling grimly. She led them upstairs to Wendla's room, stopping outside the door. "I have to warn you. It's ugly." She opened the door, walking in.

It was terrible. Hanschen was pacing around the room, arms flailing as he screamed. Wendla sat on his bed, trying to calm him down. She turned and waved at the two boys before going back to worrying over Hanschen.

"What happened?" Moritz asked Ilse. She sighed and played with his hair, motioning for Wendla to explain. Wendla was explaining the whole thing to Melchior, with Hanschen butting in every few words.

Melchior turned to Moritz and explained. "Hanschen's worrying because he tried to kiss Robert, then felt feelings. He's panicking." He glanced at Hanschen before going back to signing. "Between you and me. I think Hanschen might like him."

Moritz nearly fell back in shock. Hanschen Rilow liking someone? It's unheard of, well, recently anyways. The last person Hanschen liked was Bobby and everyone knew how that ended. And Robert, no less. He was a sweetie, just as sweet as Ernst, probably more. Hanschen liking him...that might actually be a good thing.

"I sure hope so," Moritz found himself signing, leaning over to look at Hanschen. Melchior looked shocked, but shrugged.

Hanschen turned to them. "Ernst. If anything, I'd pick Ernst." 

Everyone stopped and stared. Moritz looked around, trying to figure out what was going on. He reached out to tug Melchior's shirt to have him explain, but Hanschen shoved a piece of paper in his hand. In a messy scrawl were the words 'I wanna bang Ernst'.

Moritz's head whipped up and he glared. "No. No, you don't get to hurt Ernst. I won't let you! Robert either! Stay away from them!"

Hanschen stared, bewildered, as Melchior pulled his friend back to explain what Hanschen really meant, not what was on the paper. When he was finished, Moritz just looked at Hanschen sadly.

Ilse piped up, signing and speaking. "Hanschen. It's okay if you like him."

Hanschen shook his head, opening the door. "No, it's not." He ran out of the house and didn't stop running until he reached his house. He didn't notice Robert who was sitting on the sidewalk, watching him run, eating the gummy worms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more Ernst in the next chapter, all those who are reading. Thanks for sticking around to see this really weird story unfold. Hanschen is still hard to write, but I'm getting the hang of it. He'll be happier soon, trust me. Happy New Year!

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have no idea what I'm doing with this story, but I just wanted something to do with Robert and Alex. I never thought writing Hanschen would be this hard. And I made Thea, Martha, and Wendla hearing for plot purposes because Hanschen would learn to sign if his closest friends were Deaf, so I had to make some changes


End file.
